Expectation is a prison.

And yet, here I am, only days away from a major life change (no, not the opening of Hellboy...) and I find myself expecting and expecting. Wait. Did I just make it sound like I was pregnant?

I guess I am pregnant, in a way. I'm 2 days away from giving birth to my future. Yes, I'm being melodramatic. It's my blog and I reserve the right to get a little over the top. So here I am, giving birth to my future.

On Friday I say goodbye to what is not only a good job, but a career job. I've been out of school 9 years now, and at no time have I not worked in my chosen field of graphic arts. I'm proud of this fact. It's not conceit - there's about a million people out there better than me at this. It's more that I said this was what I was going to do, and I went out and did it. I started doing production work, paste-up and the like... a little graphic design... a little exhibit design... all entry level. Now here I am almost a decade later, and I've been an illustrator, an art director, and finally ended up running an art department.

Again, lots out there better than me. A lot better. I'm just saying it's been a good career so far.

So here I am now, about to embark on my own freelance venture, with only a handful of clients, and no clear picture of what lies ahead. It's a scary time. For me. For you, not so much. Unless you're my wife. Then, go ahead and be scared.

That's the negative perspective. That I'm jumping into the unknown. The fact is, I'm ready for this. At least I believe I am. I don't think this is something I could have done 5 years ago. I am, at this moment, the culmination of everything my career path (not to mention life) has taught me. 5 years ago I could draw fairly well. But I couldn't manage myself. I couldn't manage others or take control of a project. I didn't have the courage to speak my mind at all costs, and to stand up for what I believed was right. Now I have all that. Now I'm ready.

Ready for what? Maybe to fail horribly. Maybe to succeed beyond my wildest dreams. Maybe something in the middle of those options. But regardless, it's my time. I really don't believe in fate or predestination, but damned if I don't feel like I'm supposed to do this.

(Am I being melodramatic again? It's the Coldplay playing. Yeah, blame Coldplay.)

So what happens now?

I'll let you know.

I'm learning as I go...

So you may have noticed my website is running a little slow... (I'm assuming that if you're reading this, you've seen the website. See how presumptious I am?) I know the rollovers are taking a long time to load, and the sample images are a little large. Here comes the disclaimer:

I'm just figuring this stuff out, so please bear with me.

I'm teaching myself this web stuff, and I happen to be a pretty slow learner. And a crappy teacher. See how this works?

Today's lesson was how to optimize my images for internet usage. You'd think a tech-savvy and talented guy like me would be way past that stuff, but no. I'm just figuring out how to make an effective gif. My point is, for those of you that view commonwombat.com, be patient. I'm getting the hang of this, and you'll notice as I build the site, it will run better and better.

That's all I got right now. If it makes you feel any better, one of my cats just did something cute and I didn't post a picture. (see promise #3)

Okay, I have a blog.

Don't get all up my butt about it if you're the type who hates blogs. I hate 'em too. Hate 'em, hate em, hate 'em. I was so busy hating them, I never noticed how addicted I was to reading them. It then occured to me that I might enjoy writing one. If only as a record of myself for me to read somewhere down the road.

But seeing as how I hate blogs, and seeing as how you just might hate them too, How about if I start by making a few promises?

1) I promise I won't use this blog as some sort of showcase for what an amazing arty intellectual interesting (insert adjective here) person I am. I don't actually know what I'm gonna write in here, but I'll do my best to try not to impress you.

2) I promise I won't use this blog to preach to you. Sure, politics are bound to come up... Religion too. But let's agree that my opinions are mine, and you have yours and I'm all kinds of cool with that. I'm not arrogant enough to think I have the only right answer. Or even that I have the right answer at all.

3) No pictures of my cats. Don't get me wrong, I love my cats. A lot. But you don't need to see them every time they do something cute.

4) I promise to make spelling errors. Also grammatical errors. I've probably made a few already. If you're the type who likes to jump up a guy's bung-hole every time he uses "it's" the wrong way, then let's agree this isn't the place for you. Get over yourself.

5) I promise to do my best to make this fun. Perhaps we got off on the wrong foot. I'm not the grouchy guy you may be thinking I am right now. If you're actually taking the time to read this, then I owe you a debt of thanks. I mean, I say I'm doing this for me, but we both know I'm doing it for you. I already know what's in my head.

Okay! I feel better. Now we're all on the same page. Again, thanks for reading. Check back later and there may be something much more exciting and salacious posted.

But probably not.