Expectation is a prison.
And yet, here I am, only days away from a major life change (no, not the opening of Hellboy...) and I find myself expecting and expecting. Wait. Did I just make it sound like I was pregnant?
I guess I am pregnant, in a way. I'm 2 days away from giving birth to my future. Yes, I'm being melodramatic. It's my blog and I reserve the right to get a little over the top. So here I am, giving birth to my future.
On Friday I say goodbye to what is not only a good job, but a career job. I've been out of school 9 years now, and at no time have I not worked in my chosen field of graphic arts. I'm proud of this fact. It's not conceit - there's about a million people out there better than me at this. It's more that I said this was what I was going to do, and I went out and did it. I started doing production work, paste-up and the like... a little graphic design... a little exhibit design... all entry level. Now here I am almost a decade later, and I've been an illustrator, an art director, and finally ended up running an art department.
Again, lots out there better than me. A lot better. I'm just saying it's been a good career so far.
So here I am now, about to embark on my own freelance venture, with only a handful of clients, and no clear picture of what lies ahead. It's a scary time. For me. For you, not so much. Unless you're my wife. Then, go ahead and be scared.
That's the negative perspective. That I'm jumping into the unknown. The fact is, I'm ready for this. At least I believe I am. I don't think this is something I could have done 5 years ago. I am, at this moment, the culmination of everything my career path (not to mention life) has taught me. 5 years ago I could draw fairly well. But I couldn't manage myself. I couldn't manage others or take control of a project. I didn't have the courage to speak my mind at all costs, and to stand up for what I believed was right. Now I have all that. Now I'm ready.
Ready for what? Maybe to fail horribly. Maybe to succeed beyond my wildest dreams. Maybe something in the middle of those options. But regardless, it's my time. I really don't believe in fate or predestination, but damned if I don't feel like I'm supposed to do this.
(Am I being melodramatic again? It's the Coldplay playing. Yeah, blame Coldplay.)
So what happens now?
I'll let you know.
And yet, here I am, only days away from a major life change (no, not the opening of Hellboy...) and I find myself expecting and expecting. Wait. Did I just make it sound like I was pregnant?
I guess I am pregnant, in a way. I'm 2 days away from giving birth to my future. Yes, I'm being melodramatic. It's my blog and I reserve the right to get a little over the top. So here I am, giving birth to my future.
On Friday I say goodbye to what is not only a good job, but a career job. I've been out of school 9 years now, and at no time have I not worked in my chosen field of graphic arts. I'm proud of this fact. It's not conceit - there's about a million people out there better than me at this. It's more that I said this was what I was going to do, and I went out and did it. I started doing production work, paste-up and the like... a little graphic design... a little exhibit design... all entry level. Now here I am almost a decade later, and I've been an illustrator, an art director, and finally ended up running an art department.
Again, lots out there better than me. A lot better. I'm just saying it's been a good career so far.
So here I am now, about to embark on my own freelance venture, with only a handful of clients, and no clear picture of what lies ahead. It's a scary time. For me. For you, not so much. Unless you're my wife. Then, go ahead and be scared.
That's the negative perspective. That I'm jumping into the unknown. The fact is, I'm ready for this. At least I believe I am. I don't think this is something I could have done 5 years ago. I am, at this moment, the culmination of everything my career path (not to mention life) has taught me. 5 years ago I could draw fairly well. But I couldn't manage myself. I couldn't manage others or take control of a project. I didn't have the courage to speak my mind at all costs, and to stand up for what I believed was right. Now I have all that. Now I'm ready.
Ready for what? Maybe to fail horribly. Maybe to succeed beyond my wildest dreams. Maybe something in the middle of those options. But regardless, it's my time. I really don't believe in fate or predestination, but damned if I don't feel like I'm supposed to do this.
(Am I being melodramatic again? It's the Coldplay playing. Yeah, blame Coldplay.)
So what happens now?
I'll let you know.
posted by CommonWombat at 10:27 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home