Official Condemnation!!!
So today there was this huge suicide attack in Iraq, and 68 people were killed. (Those of you who smell a political rant coming on, try to un-clench. It won't be as bad as you think.) Now believe me, I get that this is a big deal, and I understand that's a high fucking body count. And I'm sympathetic. And angered. And troubled. And all the stuff I'm supposed to feel when a lot of innocent people get themselves blowed up.
Now, that being said...
Colin Powell... Well, let's quote CNN: "condemned the Baquba attack, calling it "an attempt by murderers to deny the Iraqi people their dream.""
A fine sentiment, I'm sure. But what I want to know is, why is it every time something terrible happens, the politicians and global leaders rush to condemn it? I don't know about you guys, but I was ready to assume that Colin Powell was generally against the blowing up of innocent people. It's not like I was waiting for Colin's response, going "Aw man, Colin loves when they do this! He's gonna come on TV and be all like YEAH DAWG! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT!!! BLOW EM ALL - what? He condemned it? Well damn. I sure didn't see that coming!"
I don;t know if you guys remember, but right after 9/11 all the Democrats and all the Republicans made a big show of coming out and condemning the attack together. I appreciate the show of solidarity gang, I really do. But again, I think condemning the 9/11 attacks was kind of a no-brainer. I doubt they had to take a vote in congress to see who was against the terrorist attacks. "All opposed to terrorism say aye... Okay, What do we got? Everybody but the gentlemen from Alaska and the lady from Kansas..."
Well you get the point. So here's my offer. To save myself a lot of time making public statements every time some shit goes down overseas, I'm giving all of you permission to assume I'm condemning of any public bombing, terrorist attacks, jihad propaganda, and the fact that they no longer make the Chocolate Malt Frap at Starbucks.
Got all that? Thanks. Celebrity marriages are still up for grabs though.
So today there was this huge suicide attack in Iraq, and 68 people were killed. (Those of you who smell a political rant coming on, try to un-clench. It won't be as bad as you think.) Now believe me, I get that this is a big deal, and I understand that's a high fucking body count. And I'm sympathetic. And angered. And troubled. And all the stuff I'm supposed to feel when a lot of innocent people get themselves blowed up.
Now, that being said...
Colin Powell... Well, let's quote CNN: "condemned the Baquba attack, calling it "an attempt by murderers to deny the Iraqi people their dream.""
A fine sentiment, I'm sure. But what I want to know is, why is it every time something terrible happens, the politicians and global leaders rush to condemn it? I don't know about you guys, but I was ready to assume that Colin Powell was generally against the blowing up of innocent people. It's not like I was waiting for Colin's response, going "Aw man, Colin loves when they do this! He's gonna come on TV and be all like YEAH DAWG! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT!!! BLOW EM ALL - what? He condemned it? Well damn. I sure didn't see that coming!"
I don;t know if you guys remember, but right after 9/11 all the Democrats and all the Republicans made a big show of coming out and condemning the attack together. I appreciate the show of solidarity gang, I really do. But again, I think condemning the 9/11 attacks was kind of a no-brainer. I doubt they had to take a vote in congress to see who was against the terrorist attacks. "All opposed to terrorism say aye... Okay, What do we got? Everybody but the gentlemen from Alaska and the lady from Kansas..."
Well you get the point. So here's my offer. To save myself a lot of time making public statements every time some shit goes down overseas, I'm giving all of you permission to assume I'm condemning of any public bombing, terrorist attacks, jihad propaganda, and the fact that they no longer make the Chocolate Malt Frap at Starbucks.
Got all that? Thanks. Celebrity marriages are still up for grabs though.
posted by CommonWombat at 11:34 AM
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