Here come the politics.

This will probably be my last post until December. I'm getting ready to head out on a couple of business trips that will have me at home for like, 8 days in the entire month of November. It's going to be exhausing and I'm going to miss my wifey something fierce.

But, before I do that...

I felt like I should wax political for just a moment here, what with the election only 4 days off now. If any of the roughly 2 people who read this have no stomach for polital discussion, You can click here and go watch cartoons instead.

Okay. Everybody with me? I'll keep it brief.

First off, I'm going to come out and say that I'm voting for Kerry come tuesday. I wanted to get that out up front. The purpose of this post isn't going to be to convince anybody to vote for my guy, but trying to write about the election while not divulging my own leanings would just be too much of a pain in the ass. So now you know: I'm voting for Kerry, and I'm not happy about it.

What really honks me off here is that I feel like once again, we've been given two crap choices. I have absolutely no love for the Bush administration, but I can't believe that John Kerry was the best the Dems could offer us as an alternative. What a sucky proposition. My choices, as I see them, are 1) a guy who I believe has done serious harm to our country, and 2) a huckster who talks a great game but from whom I have heard very little actual content. Months of electioneering and propaganda, and I still feel like I have no idea what Kerry would be like in office, except that he won't be Bush. I suppose right now, that's enough to get my vote.

Okay, so given that I am going to vote this year, I still need to raise the question: Why must we vote? I've never really understood all the insane pressure that comes out every year to get everyone to vote. MTV just about orgasms every 4 years over the chance to wheel up the propaganda machine onece more. This year "Rock the Vote" has been supplanted with "Vote or Die." Huh?

I understand that America is a wonderful place in part because we citizens are given a chance to participate in the system, (the level of that participation may be debatable, but believe me, I get the difference between the US and a place like China. I get it.) but I can't get behind this whole line of "You MUST vote or you are betraying the memories of all those who died to give you that right!!!" In my opinion, a choice not to endorse either candidate is participating in the system. You are sending a message that neither candidate has earned your support. What I think betrays the memories of all those who died to give us freedom is the fact that our "freedom" has been turned into a giant months-long advertising campaign loaded with sound-bites and catch-prases and celebrity endorsements. Honestly: probably not what the founding fathers had in mind. I think we were supposed to pick a president based on their individual merits. Now, I can't even find their merits underneath all the fucking advertising. Every year the politicians get all worked up because people aren't voting. Maybe one of these days the message will get through: "We're waiting for you to give us someone worth voting for."

So: Yes, I'm voting for Kerry on Tuesday. But I've chosen not to vote before. I endorsed neither Clinton nor Dole a couple of years back. I guess I'm looking to have a healthy debate. What do you think? Anybody want to ring in on this one? And before you answer, let me add that I've had people tell me "You can go vote and just write in a candidate! Just write in a name and at least that way you're voting!" That crap accomplishes nothing. As far as I can see that's just political masturbation. While I'm in favor of masturbation in general, in this case it's just pointless. Okay. Got that off my chest...

In the meantime, here's a clip from South Park, which nailed this issue better than I ever could have hoped to.

Feel free to write and tell me I'm full of horse-shit.

See you all in a month or so.

Once a year, in mid-October, I wake up to the sound of people applauding.

I mention this because it happened again today. As I gradually drift upwards out of my slumber, I realize that the bedroom is filled with the sound of cheering and applause. Of course I think "I must be doing something really great to merit all this. I suppose I do sleep pretty well."

Who are these cheering masses in my bedroom, and what exactly is it that I have done that's got them all worked up like this? I mean, I know I'm pretty great, but it's normally a more subtle greatness, the kind that tends to fall below the public radar. But not once a year in mid-October. On this day people actually congregate to cheer my waking up. People actually have come from miles around to celebrate the fact that I got out of bed. Needless to say, on this day, I wake up with a smile on my face, fresh-faced and ready to meet my adoring fans.

Okay, so it's a marathon. The Baltimore Marathon (now in its third year) runs directly down the street that I live on. All the cheering and applause is not, in truth, for me, but rather for the couple of hundred people who not only got out of bed this morning, but decided to run 26 miles.

I've never had one of those mornings. The closest I get to running 26 miles first thing in the morning is walking all the way downstairs for some toast. And yes, I've been going to the gym, and yes, I've lost some weight, but my effective running range is somewhere around 50 yards. That's a bit short of 26 miles.

So I suppose these morning marathoners deserve all the adulation far more than I do. Come to think of it, there are a lot of people in the world who do probably deserve some applause when they get up in the morning. I have a friend who wakes up and tries to cure alzheimer's disease. My dad used to wake up and go fight crime.

Still, for a couple of minutes once a year in mid-October, I think, "I must be doing something right..."