Just like assholes, or so they say...
How long since I wrote in the Blog??? Jeez, I'm already slacking on this thing. I'm a bad blogger... A sincere apology to Dogbutt, my one and only fan out there.
So: since I have no real topic to speak of, and yet I find myself typing away... Here are some unsolicited opinions.
- Hershey chocolate is crap. It's like eating cocoa flavored wax. In my mind, if you don't like dark chocolate, then you can go fuck yourself. No really. Don't take it all personal-like, but go fuck yourself. And if you like your chocolate really really dark, then you is my bro. That being said, I have to confess that I can be had for a Hersheys with Almonds. Can't explain it. Life is a mystery wrapped in an enigma, know what I mean?
- I like watching professional football. I'm not one of those frat-boy types, and I don't drive a pick-up truck, but I have to admit that, come football season, I will plop myself on the couch and have a great time. I don't root for any particular team, nor do I care who plays for who, or how may passing yards so-and-so had, but thanks to a very cool roommate I had in college, I have an understanding of the game, and it is a good game. I like the strategy, I like that it is in every way a coordinated team effort, and I like that there are 350 pound dudes who could outrun a Buick. I will admit however, that if I went and saw a game in person I would really miss the play-by-play commentary and shiny steel graphics clanging and whooshing around the screen. Hell, when I go to a baseball game I spend the entire time watching the Jumbotron.
- SO, we've established football is good. Basketball on the other hand is the most boring thing since watching toothpaste harden on the brush. Sorry, all you ballers out there. But to me pro basketball is just a bunch of idiots running back and forth and grandstanding. While we're running through the sports, soccer is entertaining, golf is a game for which I have no love, but much appreciation, and tennis is about as useful as shaving off your toes. Just tellin you how I feel, folks.
- At this moment, There are 3 dogs I truly like, and one cat I very nearly hate. Okay, so that's not an opinion... But chew on this: I used the number three above, but I spelled out "one." Does this kind of sloppy writing drive you nuts? If so, I'm of the opinion that you should get out more.
- I rank household chores in the following manner, from favorite to least favorite: dishes, vaccuming, making the bed, laundry, taking out the trash, dusting, mopping, ironing.
- People who have more than one first name are aliens in human form. People like David Keith, or Julie Christie... Aliens! Their leader? Brian Benben. (look him up) He has three first names! And two of them are the same name!!!
- Baker's three rules of comedy are as follows: 1) Anything coming out of a butt is funny. Going into a butt, not always funny. Coming out of a butt... Comedy gold. 2) Monkeys, while not always funny, are inherently more funny than the rest of the animal kingdom. 3) If they're laughing at you, they're still laughing.
- A few years back, they made a beverage called Orbits, that was basically Clearly Canadian with these little colored balls of tapioca floating evenly throughout it. These were great things. Even if you didn't want to drink them, they were so cool to look at. These should be brought back immediately.
- I want so badly to hate Sting. I really do. But I must reluctantly admit that I like a lot of his music. Even some of the newer stuff. Maybe not the bits they play on the radio, but a lot of his stuff is just plain good. I'm sure he's an ass. I even heard from a good source that he smells bad. Just can't hate him like I want to. Also, I have the same problem with Cheryl Crow. Want sooooooo bad to hate her ass. See also the Christina Aguilera.
That's all the opinions I can muster. I hope that made up for the lack of bloggage. Or the black of luggage. At any rate, Maybe next time I'll move on from opinions to unsupported facts.
How long since I wrote in the Blog??? Jeez, I'm already slacking on this thing. I'm a bad blogger... A sincere apology to Dogbutt, my one and only fan out there.
So: since I have no real topic to speak of, and yet I find myself typing away... Here are some unsolicited opinions.
- Hershey chocolate is crap. It's like eating cocoa flavored wax. In my mind, if you don't like dark chocolate, then you can go fuck yourself. No really. Don't take it all personal-like, but go fuck yourself. And if you like your chocolate really really dark, then you is my bro. That being said, I have to confess that I can be had for a Hersheys with Almonds. Can't explain it. Life is a mystery wrapped in an enigma, know what I mean?
- I like watching professional football. I'm not one of those frat-boy types, and I don't drive a pick-up truck, but I have to admit that, come football season, I will plop myself on the couch and have a great time. I don't root for any particular team, nor do I care who plays for who, or how may passing yards so-and-so had, but thanks to a very cool roommate I had in college, I have an understanding of the game, and it is a good game. I like the strategy, I like that it is in every way a coordinated team effort, and I like that there are 350 pound dudes who could outrun a Buick. I will admit however, that if I went and saw a game in person I would really miss the play-by-play commentary and shiny steel graphics clanging and whooshing around the screen. Hell, when I go to a baseball game I spend the entire time watching the Jumbotron.
- SO, we've established football is good. Basketball on the other hand is the most boring thing since watching toothpaste harden on the brush. Sorry, all you ballers out there. But to me pro basketball is just a bunch of idiots running back and forth and grandstanding. While we're running through the sports, soccer is entertaining, golf is a game for which I have no love, but much appreciation, and tennis is about as useful as shaving off your toes. Just tellin you how I feel, folks.
- At this moment, There are 3 dogs I truly like, and one cat I very nearly hate. Okay, so that's not an opinion... But chew on this: I used the number three above, but I spelled out "one." Does this kind of sloppy writing drive you nuts? If so, I'm of the opinion that you should get out more.
- I rank household chores in the following manner, from favorite to least favorite: dishes, vaccuming, making the bed, laundry, taking out the trash, dusting, mopping, ironing.
- People who have more than one first name are aliens in human form. People like David Keith, or Julie Christie... Aliens! Their leader? Brian Benben. (look him up) He has three first names! And two of them are the same name!!!
- Baker's three rules of comedy are as follows: 1) Anything coming out of a butt is funny. Going into a butt, not always funny. Coming out of a butt... Comedy gold. 2) Monkeys, while not always funny, are inherently more funny than the rest of the animal kingdom. 3) If they're laughing at you, they're still laughing.
- A few years back, they made a beverage called Orbits, that was basically Clearly Canadian with these little colored balls of tapioca floating evenly throughout it. These were great things. Even if you didn't want to drink them, they were so cool to look at. These should be brought back immediately.
- I want so badly to hate Sting. I really do. But I must reluctantly admit that I like a lot of his music. Even some of the newer stuff. Maybe not the bits they play on the radio, but a lot of his stuff is just plain good. I'm sure he's an ass. I even heard from a good source that he smells bad. Just can't hate him like I want to. Also, I have the same problem with Cheryl Crow. Want sooooooo bad to hate her ass. See also the Christina Aguilera.
That's all the opinions I can muster. I hope that made up for the lack of bloggage. Or the black of luggage. At any rate, Maybe next time I'll move on from opinions to unsupported facts.
posted by CommonWombat at 10:58 PM
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